just because i think it's important

books on tape

these are my savior for the time being.  i've been listening to lots of book on tape.  i really need to find something more productive to do with my time.  wish me luck.

annoyed

Annoyed. I am. I am annoyed.  And i don't know what to do about it.  Maybe I do know what to do, but I just don't want to.  Maybe I'm scared.  Maybe I just want it to smooth over.

lonely

Do you ever have those days where you just feel like your theme song is "One is the loneliest number"?  This really shouldn't be one of those days.  I have family, friends, a boyfriend... so many people that care about me.  Maybe it's just more of a melancholy day.  It's one of those days where I feel like sitting with my iPod in, ignoring the world.  Listening to emotion charged music and pouring my heart onto the page in the form of paint, or very stark ink.  Maybe a mix of both to represent the mellow and intense feelings coursing through my brain.  

I miss my friends.  Both of my bestest of bests are gone at the moment.  One has been in Thailand with her husband since January.  She sent me an e-mail today that made me belly-laugh.  It was good!  But, still hard missing her.  She is my soul sister that understands instinctively the mood that I am in without me having to put it all in words, which is most often impossible.  My other soul sister is chasing love (finally) in Argentina.  Looking back at the cynical soul she used to be, I never imagined her flying to the southern hemisphere of our globe to try and keep her flame kindled.  She fell in love with the impossible and is somehow making it work.  How I envy her stamina.  

My boyfriend is living in colorado.  He goes to the university three hours from here, but since school isn't going at the moment he is home.  I don't know how she has done it, keeping love going from Oregon to Argentina.  Colorado is difficult enough.  Just wanting to be able to see him, give him a hug.  Being in a relationship again is such a strange feeling.  I'm loving it, but it is just weird to have someone again.  But there are so many new aspects to this relationship, the distance, the slow pace (a good thing!), the ages.  So much to learn.  Pray that I have patience.  I can imagine this being amazing.  I think it is going to push me though.  Push me to relax, go with the flow, and yet at the same time hold myself back, waiting for the right timing.  Gosh I don't even know what the hell I'm saying. I guess I ramble in hopes of making a coherent line of all the thoughts jumbled in my brain.  

It is has been forever.  Sorry.  I have learned to not promise one soon.  It might not happen, but in the mean time...

Enjoy every day, it's a gift.  Experience the spice that each day holds if you take the time to slow down and find the unique experience it holds. 

long time no write...

Sorry it has been a while guys...  I've actually not been busy with school which is why I think I haven't written in so long!  I'm in a really weird quarter in school this time around.  I only have three classes, one of which is online, and then one is a bible class, and the other is family class.  Family is the easiest nursing class I've ever taken.  Bible is also very easy, not much to do with it, and the online class is a topic class on Thailand, and while very easy is VERY frustrating b/c I've had so many problems trying to get all my stuff online to work, it's being finicky!!  But to give the short point to the many descriptions... I don't have much homework!  At first I didn't know what to do with myself, and now I've started to find things.... sewing, cooking, reading, sleeping, exercising, trying new recipes, making new ones, etc.  In short, doing all the things that I haven't had time for all year!  It's been great.  

I've also picked up a couple of new jobs.  The first is that I've been given the amazing opportunity to tutor my sister!  We've been having a lot of fun and I think that it has been helping a lot!  We work on A&P, History, Spanish, and anything else she needs help with.  It's been a lot of fun!  It guarantees that we get to see each other on a regular basis!

I still have my job at the hospital which is going well.  I hate working every Sunday b/c it ruins my saturday nights but that is pretty much my only complaint.  It's not so hard to get up anymore b/c I've been getting up at six on a regular basis, going to bed at ten almost every night.  It makes early mornings not so hard.  Plus, I have to get up early so many days of the week, that trying to sleep in isn't even worth it.  

I've also picked up two side jobs for people at the church, helping a lady get a shower twice a week, and on some nights I go and sit for a lady so that her caretakers can go to dinner or a movie or a play or something.  Both of them very easy, but both rewarding.

For clinicals this quarter I'm going to two separate hospitals.  I work at Adventist for Labor and Delivery, and for Pediatrics I'm going to Legacy Emmanuel downtown.  I REALLY enjoy working with Peds.  I enjoy L&D ok.  It's fun getting to see mom's and excitement over brand new life, but I've really enjoyed working with the sick kids, it's so sad, but it is so rewarding and very inspiring to see how tough they are.  

Lastly, I have applied for an internship this summer through the VALOR program at the VA Hospital downtown.  I applied to work as an ICU nurse for the summer.  It's a program where I would be working as a student nurse under a preceptor, over the summer for 400 hours.  All in all a very busy summer, especially since I'm still attempting to make it over to Thailand.  But the awesome part about it all is that I get 80% nurses wages and if I finish out the summer I have the option to work for 400 hours during next school year as well.  Good money, great looking on a resume... a wonderful opportunity.  I should get a phone call sometime next week for an interview!!  Wish me luck!  They accept four students, and they only had eight apply so I have a descent chance!!

Well my friends, I think I shall go for now.  More later.  Feel free to write, say hello, leave me comments.  Love you all

xoxo

The Shack

boredom is the mother of huge new ideas

So, i've been doing lots of thinking lately.  It's dead week and weirdly enough I don't have much to do.

I got done with my two research papers and realized I only had one final to study for.  This was bad.

At least right now, b/c I've learned that when I have big things on my mind, the worst thing I could have is lots of free time.  But, I do believe some good things have come from it.

Good Thing Number One:  So i've actually been thinking of this one for some time now, but... when I graduate from nursing school, and God willing I pass my boards, I am going to move to Argentina.  Well that is if i can find a job down there.  But my soul sista and I are planning on heading down to the spanish land of wonder to pursue some dreams of learning and teaching and living.  So many things could stop me from going, but I'm hoping and praying that God finds me a way to get there.  Keep it in your prayers ok?

Good Thing Number Two:  I finally got my packet for the Thailand mission trip, telling me details, dates, things I need to know, and LOTS of paperwork to fill out.  But it is the first step in actually making it to this new country i'm dying to explore!  But, I have realized there might be a small hiccup in my plans... I wanted to go see Summer and Michael for a bit after I was done with the mission trip.  I really want to do that still but... (which brings me to)

Good Thing Number Three:  I found an internship that I am applying for!!!  I would be working as a student nurse in the ICU/ER for 400 hours during the summer, I would be a nurse, not a CNA, and I would be getting 80% nurses wages!!! How much would that freaking rock!  I would make bank and have an awesome internship to put on my resume.  But the problem lies in not giving me extra time to visit family in Thailand.  I can work the 400 hours however I want to, but to fit in the three week mission trip and traveling for a while, I'd have to put in like 80 hour weeks... we'll see if I can wing it!  I just have to figure out all the details.  But I've been working on my resume and all the application paperwork for the internship, so wish me luck, most of all, pray for me please!

Good Thing Number Four:  Umm, I read a phenomenal book.  The Shack - by William P. Young.  Read it.  Just do it.

So, i think that pretty much sums up most of the major things in my life at the moment.  I can always use more prayers.  And know that I'm praying for you as well.

Love and kisses to all