lonely

Do you ever have those days where you just feel like your theme song is "One is the loneliest number"?  This really shouldn't be one of those days.  I have family, friends, a boyfriend... so many people that care about me.  Maybe it's just more of a melancholy day.  It's one of those days where I feel like sitting with my iPod in, ignoring the world.  Listening to emotion charged music and pouring my heart onto the page in the form of paint, or very stark ink.  Maybe a mix of both to represent the mellow and intense feelings coursing through my brain.  

I miss my friends.  Both of my bestest of bests are gone at the moment.  One has been in Thailand with her husband since January.  She sent me an e-mail today that made me belly-laugh.  It was good!  But, still hard missing her.  She is my soul sister that understands instinctively the mood that I am in without me having to put it all in words, which is most often impossible.  My other soul sister is chasing love (finally) in Argentina.  Looking back at the cynical soul she used to be, I never imagined her flying to the southern hemisphere of our globe to try and keep her flame kindled.  She fell in love with the impossible and is somehow making it work.  How I envy her stamina.  

My boyfriend is living in colorado.  He goes to the university three hours from here, but since school isn't going at the moment he is home.  I don't know how she has done it, keeping love going from Oregon to Argentina.  Colorado is difficult enough.  Just wanting to be able to see him, give him a hug.  Being in a relationship again is such a strange feeling.  I'm loving it, but it is just weird to have someone again.  But there are so many new aspects to this relationship, the distance, the slow pace (a good thing!), the ages.  So much to learn.  Pray that I have patience.  I can imagine this being amazing.  I think it is going to push me though.  Push me to relax, go with the flow, and yet at the same time hold myself back, waiting for the right timing.  Gosh I don't even know what the hell I'm saying. I guess I ramble in hopes of making a coherent line of all the thoughts jumbled in my brain.  

It is has been forever.  Sorry.  I have learned to not promise one soon.  It might not happen, but in the mean time...

Enjoy every day, it's a gift.  Experience the spice that each day holds if you take the time to slow down and find the unique experience it holds.